You have stopped apologising for the rack. Notice when that happened, because it was not a decision.

It was the week you had to say the whole thing out loud in order to be of any use,
and you got to the end of the sentence and nothing happened.
Nobody looked away. Nobody adjusted their opinion of you anywhere you could see it.

The shame did not survive being said in a normal voice to a person who needed the information.
It had only ever survived being carried.

The Book of the Fallen — Return 66:9